Daily Prompt: Now You See Me

4. Dezember 2013 at 15:35 (Blog, Posts in English) (, )

And now for something off-topic and non-christmassy: Today, I stumbled upon this post http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/12/03/prompt-see-me/ – and although today there would have been a new challenge, I wanted to try out this one first. (I don’t usually write in English, so please pardon any mistakes I might make.)

So, if anybody happens to read this blog post, isn’t able to read German fluently, but wants to read more of my works: I write my love poems in English, you find them here.

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I’ve been there, watching over you, for all of my life. It is only now that I am old and confused and haggard that you finally see me. You don’t see me in the way I wish you would: As a model for living your life consciously, embracing every moment of it and giving love to those who need it most.

No, you only see what is left behind of my once glamorous existence. You see a woman who hardly recognises her family, who spills food all over herself while eating and who walks so slowly that even a snail might reach its destination faster. You see me as the woman who once cared for you, which was okay, because I wanted to have you and I planned my life around you. But now you have to care for me, which is not okay, because you had planned your life differently, you have your own family now, your own children to raise.

You don’t see me as the loving mother I once was, you see me as your daily nuisance. It is so hard to explain things to me over and over again, only to have me ask the same question one minute later. It isn’t only painful for you to see me age and slowly vanish into a world that holds the promise that I won’t be bothering anybody there.

I wish you could enjoy it more to take care of me, because it will be the last thing you’ll do for me. It’s a job with an expiry date, there will come a day when all of this ends. Your stressed out way of handling me doesn’t bother me that much, you know. I know that you’re constantly in a hurry, you have to get so many things done every day. But I wish you would try to get some satisfaction out of caring for me – the feeling that you’re doing something good, something meaningful, something you will be rewarded for in another life.

But no, you’re too young and I’m too old to teach you anything. You will only see what I would like to tell you, if my mind wasn’t so wrecked, when you are old yourself. You might not know, because I never told you, but I have given up a lot of things for you too. My career, lots of friendships and in the end even my nice apartment. But I didn’t care, because you are my son and although it isn’t my job to make you happy or give up everything for you, I gladly did it.

I just hope these memories will come back, when all of this is over. Perhaps you will tell your children and grandchildren about me – not the woman you see now, but the woman I was then.

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2 Kommentare

  1. agnetha22 said,

    Very touching. Wonderful language!

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